Has this ever happened to you? Someone texts you & you start typing a reply. Then you:
– Delete it.
– Type it again.
– Second guess yourself.
– Delete it again.
– Think of 100 other ways you can say it (Trying to choose the least uncomfortable way.)
– Type it again
– AND FOR FUCKS SAKE YOU DELETE IT AGAIN.
If this has happened to you. I have some bad news (And some good news too).
The Bad News
You sir, have fallen into a trap. A trap created by you – for you. You are treating a simple fucking conversation as if it’s a significant event. And you want to shine in that event.
You might be wondering, why is this dickhead so fascinated by a conversation over texts. Well, because the effects of this aren’t just limited to texts.
Each time you deleted your original message OR thought about a “SAFER” way to say it, you avoided risk. You tried to avoid facing any sort of a negative emotion. You tried to avoid rejection. You stayed in your comfy fucking zone.
Sadly, for most us, the older we get, the less risk we want to take. And that sucks.
We don’t like losing. Hence, we avoid even trying something.
Even when we are unaware of what is actually at stake. We just don’t like looking ‘stupid‘.
A person who entered the ring, got his ass kicked and was beat up badly, learned way more than the person who never entered the ring.
The more you seek the uncomfortable, the more you will become comfortable. The goal is to become comfortable in the uncomfortable.
The Good News
Well, the good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. If you have made it this far, I am assuming you were able to relate to atleast some of it. And you accepted it. Most people just live with this & accept this as a part of their life . If you can see the problem & you want to change, half the battle is won. It depends on a couple of conditions though.
- Are you willing to acknowledge the gap? AND
- Are you willing to promise yourself that you’ll start taking more risks?
Once you decide to embrace the uncomfortable, you’ll start enjoying it. We all have experienced this. Remember the time you were shit scared to try/say/do something but you took the first step & realised that it wasn’t so bad afterall. Infact it was worth it. It is always worth it.
Now if you are done reading this & feeling sorry for yourself. Slap yourself in the face, smile & remember it’s not over until you quit.
TLDR : Start looking for situations that make you uncomfortable. Embrace them, learn from them & most importantly enjoy them.
If you want something in life that you have never had, you will have to do something that you have never done.